Michaelmas Term week 1, year 3

It's funny how I refuse to start my post-hiatus entry with the usual "it's been a long time...". I was just about to start off with that phrase but held back and had an internal debate on how I should start off with the post. Should I just jump into the main content (not like I have any...)? Or should I start with describing how much I miss blogging? & before I know it, I have started the entry. :)

As always, it feels weird to start writing again. I did think of moving to tumblr since it is very visual and... new. However I just could not bear because part of me wants to remain loyal to my beloved itswrittendown.blogspot. My very first post here was dated on 26th November 2005. I am not sure if it is silly to actually feel attached to my blog. Like, am I having a relationship with my blog?!

Moving on.

Year three has started. Modules are definitely much more difficult now (damn it). The pressure to land myself in a Graduate job is building up as each day passes by. Deadlines are supposed to be by the end of this month or the next. I have completed... zero? Well I am in the middle of one right now, just that I was caught position-less under the responsibilities section. Not impressive. I am glad that I have at least something to add on since last Friday. It was not the position that I was vying for but something is better than nothing right? :D

I am supposed to be more pro-active this year than my previous two (more like non-existent). I am not sure how that is going to work out... we shall see!

fear

The pressure is intense. Fear is creeping inside me, just like how it did last year. I was taken back by the reading list because most of them does not sound familiar. I took a peek at past year papers and honestly I could only do certain parts of the few questions that feels familiar. The good thing is I have about a little more than a week to do this. I have to face this. Because if I don't, at the end of the day, I will regret.

the H word

Boooooooo! (as in jeering boo not jump-in-and-try-to-scare-people kind of boo or the o-m-g-cuteness-overload boo) I have no will, none at all, to pick up any notes/reading materials/assignments AND IT'S JUST A FEW MONTHS AWAY FROM THE MAJOR EXAMS! Does it spell out d-e-a-d for you? It sure does for me. Especially when I spent the whole of winter break doing nothing productive other than reading something that I absolutely have no idea what it was. Hang on. Oh yes, it was Microeconomics and there were lines and words on the paper. Either way, d-e-a-d it is.

I have been feeling mighty lazy lately and today is the worst ever since Lent started. At least I paid attention during my make up Accounting class (skipped yesterday's class because of the recent disease), took notes for Corporate Law (it was painfully boring trust me) and ??? for Microecons. To be fair today was quite hectic because I just had to schedule the make up class before 3 hours worth of lectures, which adds up to a grand total of 4 hours straight. I thought I did quite well when I paid attention to most of the Law lecture and first 20 minutes or less of Microecons. *beams* I Spent the later quarter of Law imagining my lecturer as a blonde lawyer (legally blonde) and how fashionable she must have been because she wore this patent black coat/raincoat today plus her hair is styled in quite a glamorous way. She is probably older than 60.

The evening was spent deliberating with myself whether I should get a couple of things from ASOS. My very considerate and caring housemate decided to bring my attention to the fact that NUS 20% discount is back. My reaction started off with my excitement escalating uncontrollably followed by a very brisk crash as I brought myself back to reality. As of yesterday, I decided to curb my spending by leaving only £20 in my wallet. January Challenge: £20 for the rest of the month. It took me quite a bit of courage to give it a pass but I'm glad I did myself that favour. :)

I shall now do myself another favour by getting some work done! Woohoo~

raspberry

Yesterday my housemate and I hosted part one of our house-warming party. We had a terribly busy time preparing the food. She decided to prepare soup and the main while I prepared the appetiser and dessert. It felt like my share of preparation is not as heavy as her's but that's definitely not the case. It would have been so if I decided to be practical... but no, I just had to do it the hard way. At least for the dessert part because I took the effort to make faux macarons! It was funny because it was totally spontaneous. Initially I just wanted to make red velvet cake but I thought it'll be a hassle to serve it so the idea evolved to "red velvet burgers" (creativity at its worst). It eventually became faux macarons because it looked like macarons and I had no intention to make the aforementioned red velvet burgers (with cream cheese frosting as the "patty"??). It's just that I had the idea of 2 little round red velvets with cream cheese frosting in the middle but had a major failure in generating the right name for it. Faux macarons it is! :)

Thank goodness a senior (he's from CTC) came by really early (and unexpected, causing us to burst into a frantic duo rushing around and changing out of our home clothes while he waited outside in the cold...) and helped us both with the preparation. It would have been quite unmanageable. There were about 6 other guests or so. We ate, talked and played cards. After they left, we took about at least an hour cleaning up. There were A LOT of dishes to wash and the floor was in a mess. The bag in the food bin decided to make way (it was pathetically thin but to be fair we didn't know about it) and it was quite a gross moment. By the time I finished the cleaning up it was already 1/2AM. The dark circles are definitely going to enlarge its radius. :(

First week of Lent felt quite long. I actually thought that this is already the end of week 2 but unfortunately it's not. I can't wait for the month to end! My bank account is screaming out loud as it approaches ground zero and (hopefully not) below.

pre-Lent depression

Being back in London feels kind of weird this time round. Travelling from Heathrow to Chancery Lane felt lonely as my sister, who would always pick me up previously, wasn't there to do so. I was convinced to take a cab back, which I am sort of glad that I did so (1 heavy luggage and 2 hand-carries). I have no idea how I would have managed if I were to travel back by underground (which would have saved me enough to replace my favourite cardigan which shrunk).

Egawd, today is passing by so slowly! Due to the slight jetlag I'm having, I woke up at 9am (the norm is after 11am) and cleaned my room + kitchen floor and toilet. So glad I managed to finish by around noon. I don't know if it's OCD or what, but I must get the cleaning done before I start studying or I can't study. Yesterday passed by considerably slowly as well. I can't remember what I did yesterday. It must have been on the internet because I can never remember events that happened on the net. It's like a blackout period. Excessive internet surfing is bad :( it makes my days feel so meaningless (skype is an exception). Anyway, the past 2 days felt like as if I never left. It's the same feeling I had when I flew back to Singapore.

Lent term starts tomorrow. MAJOR DEPRESSING! The thought of it completely drains out my inspiration. Not that I have any for this post. Boohoo hope the constant brain freeze goes away soon :(

Ciao Bella

Birthday boy, his cake and his sweet housemate :) (and cousin- standing)

I had fun at a birthday party last night! It ended off with the birthday boy being drunk and muttering random things e.g. spilling liquid all over his pants, "I love the wall", "so when I drink I become a woman and when you drink you become a man?!"- inside joke but a really funny one at that. Everyone kept toasting him with birthday drinks! The culprit in red (above picture) supposedly drank 3 shots of pure Vodka straight. I was impressed when she downed one after another like gulp, fill, gulp, fill, gulp!! A short moment later someone told me that it's just plain water. LOL?! But great job everyone! It was real difficult to get him to reach that state.

Anyway...

!!!

week 8

Friday's arrival signifies the beginning of weekend 8. I'm highly anticipating the end of Michaelmas for it has been a reaaally tiring one. At this point, my body-clock is somewhat messed up. It might be due to my recent sensitivity towards caffeine, which is totally uncool. Not being able to sleep at 3am is really annoying because it's almost a 100% that I'll end up waking up past noon- sluggabed indeed. Waking up that late is not fun when the Sun doesn't greet you with its glorious rays. Especially when the first thing you think about upon waking up is... catching up with lectures and getting the assignments done! (though on the bright side I'm starting to be more studious hehe)

One of the few interesting things that happened this month includes my housemate's friends visit from France. Their company made me realise how much of a goodie we both are and that I really need to step out of this house more often... both day and night! I've been finding each day as mundane as ever and I could barely remember what I did on day X of the week. Or even one interesting thing I did on week Y. Other than the Harry Potter afternoon. Is that how I want to live my university life?! No. Henceforth next Sunday I will be taking another (baby) step out of my comfort zone- some Christmas market event described as atas by la housemate. Well better than just doing ordinary stuff e.g. shopping, watching videos, etc. right! *detemined

Now that the temperature is falling closer to 0 and lower, I've been feeling hungry so often. I love snacking without guilt, which obviously in reality it rarely happens. As my butt and thighs aching (good sign) due to a recent conditioning class I attended, I just end up feeling even more guilty for snacking! A moment on the lips, forever on the hips. Haih.

It feels weird to be blogging again. I kind of miss how smooth things would just flow from my mind and I would type on and on... and how I used to treat it as an avenue for thoughts with minimal restrictions. Ahh life works in such weird ways. (wts what sort of paragraph is this)

WEEK 8 IS COMING TO AN END WOOHOO! :D I shall ignore how bleak week 9's schedule looks (2 essays and 1 assignment due).

End of weird post :)

Roberto Cavalli oversized labradorite ring

I shall be a foolish student who stays up late to finish my essay and weekly chores, taking breaks every now and to google and oogle at beautiful rings. Statement rings, not any other rings just in case you're wondering. (I have to admit I am the sort who do weird things late at night...)

Here is one.

How cute is that? Reminds me of an evil egg nested in a gold nest. I like how nicely wrapped the centrepiece is. However it's definitely not worth the price: £230. I'd rather get their corset skirt instead.

Okay! End of story :)

Week 6

Though this week has yet to end, I've reached a pre-conclusion that it has been crazily busy and pretty much unpredictable. From getting disappointing looks from my a couple of my tutors to catching Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows Part 1 WORLD premiere (must emphasise on how grand it was) red carpet event to spending Friday night coming so close to getting drunk (at home- one step closer to a typical uni student?) and so much more. Everything was sort of planned but the outcomes were completely random, which was extraordinarily fun and different.

Harry Potter red carpet event was madness. I found out about it last week and asked my house-mate if she wanted to join me, which she did. & I'm glad she did because she went kind of all-out with all the cast spotting, picture taking and being part of the crazy crowd behind the metal bars... if you know what I mean. The thought of it may be quite childish and a turn-off(troublesome), but being part of it was fun! Especially when you're physically close to the cast who you have been seeing on the screen for years. The excitement you get makes it all worth it. Oh yea need I mention housemate bonding as well? It's not something that you can do everyday but it's definitely something you'll remember and will be able to reminisce about. :D

We've got some shots of some of the casts! I shall name them by their characters in HP (that's how I recognise them sadly...)

But before that, the venue. It was drizzling initially, which changed to a heavy rain.

We made acquaintance with the security guard on the right :)

Fred and George!!

Fred/ George? Both of them spent the most time walking around, signing, shaking hands and taking pictures with fans.

Neville! I used to dislike him when he was young and short...

Luna Lovegood. Wow I couldn't recognise her at all. She looks so much older.

V-V-Voldermort. Looks good with nose, no? ;)

Va-va-voom Bellatrix. Real person looks as eccentric as the character.

HAHAHA MRS WEASLEY. Classic. She looks older in person as well.

We did manage to see 2 out of the 3 main casts- Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson. Unfortunately we were in the process of shifting position hence we missed out... but we saw them in quite a way. :D

I've told myself to not spend too much on this post as I really have to get started on my virgin Law essay. Omg how do Law students hurdle from essay to essay? The amount of reading is crazy and the amount of writing is even worse. But then again, case readings can be really enjoyable. Anyway before I end this post, my best end to the week/Saturday: I achieved the highest grade for my Microeconomics quiz!! 8D *nerd (sadly greeted with C+ for accounts essay shortly after- what a bummer.)

boring

Alright, emo time is here. Being in a state of emo-ness actually makes me feel like blogging, weirdly enough.

5 weeks into Michaelmas and what have I achieved? Nothing much. At least nothing academically, sadly to say. Is it normal to be finding myself picking up the pieces which I have left behind while attempting to stay on par with everyone else? I hope it is. Being booked out this Sunday doesn't help. Guy Fawkes fireworks on Friday evening, Bicester (!!) for the whole of Saturday and uni mates' house-warming on Sunday evening. How am I supposed to schedule studies in?! I really dislike the idea of sacrificing more sleep when I think about the intensity of my dark circles. They are the worst. Ever. Grah!! Damn you internet for letting me do endless window shopping! Damn me for my non-existent self-control from surfing the net. :(

I have been trying to find a solution for this though. In the form of a list. I know how much I love love LOVE striking off the points of my list. It works from time to time, but distraction occurs and hence procrastination seeps through. But on a brighter side, it's working better than it used to so I shouldn't be discouraged about all of this and work it out. :)

Ok more on updates. I have settled for Microeconomics, which is quite manageable as for now (though I still picking some things up). My timetable is pretty cool as my Thursdays are officially empty and my only Wednesday lecture is recorded!! Yes I know, it's quite ironic that I'm still lagging behind even though I have 2 weekends in a week. Oh well. First few weeks of Michaelmas was basically spent packing and cleaning the house. I'm so glad my housemate and I came up with a roster. It gives me one less reason to put academics on hold. Like now, I should be studying instead of blogging.

I guess I'll be burning some midnight oil tonight :(

day x+n of packing

Packing never seems to end. Especially when I have this ever-growing idea of mine to spruce up a warm and comfortable room. It's difficult to stop it at an idea because, unfortunately for this case, inspiration keeps coming! Either that or something doesn't go right, hence the need to think of a replacement. Safely to say I'm more or less done with thinking of what goes where. The things that I am left to do: wait for fitted sheet and pillow cases to come, wash my new duvet sheet (which is so soft!!), install the sheets and new pillows (boohoo for hollowfibres), place the drawer liners to the specified (lucky) shelves in first wardrobe, arrange my second wardrobe, get curtains, ect. Yep, there's still a whole lot of actions to be carried out. I can't believe I'm spending so much time into this. It better be worth it!

Year 2 started out pretty mundanely, sadly. Currently it feels like it'll just be another year in uni, but we shall see. It's still too fast to judge. My timetable issn't too bad. My Mondays are INtEnsiVe: 9am to 6pm. What say you? However I'm still in the middle of course selection, which is a total bummer since I've been bugged with the indecisive disease. Microeconomics or Macroeconomics? I started off thinking "definitely Micro" but now that term has started, I've decided to go with Macro and is sort of enjoying it. But! It's just the first week. Lectures always start off, for the most of them, nicely and make you go "ooh this issn't so bad after all". But when I look at the exam paper for Macro it is quite intimidating as it is mainly essay-based questions. Micro is more of proving equations and applying them to the question. It does look challenging because it means that if you don't get the equation right, then that's the end of it. Haih. I shall reserve some time before bed thinking about this.

Back to packing...

results are out!

Mobile blogging once more :) it's really addictive because I can just lie down in any style I like & blog using my phone. The fact that I can swing the device (phone) around easily means that I benefit from the extra flexibility. I'm definitely digging typing on this super compact mini QWERTY!! The bad side is I can't make a new paragraph (still unsure of how I should go about doing it) so it can be a bit of a pain reading this. Sorry ya'll! But let's face the facts. There aren't many lovely people (like you all) who reads what I write. Anyway, before this gets too long... A couple of short updates! 1) I went back to Indonesia for the past 6 days. 2) Shaun happened to get himself hospitalised on day I went back for the next 6 days as well. 3) My exam results are out!! I shan't elaborate much since it's 'short updates'. 1) is an old and boring topic that I shan't share more. 2) is too long so I'll cover that next time. 3). Omg! I passed every single paper! I'm ecstatic. Even though many look down on my grades, which I fully understand why they do that, some exceeded what I've been expecting. The disappointment is there, but not as bad considering the fact that I screwed it uppp urgh!! 1.5 mark away from a 2:1 omg! (Yea yea you can laugh/look down on my 2:2) Ahh well~ it's getting pretty exciting that I'll be entering a fresh new academic year and living with an... acquaintance. It's going to be a new experience once more! Not sure what to expect but let's just hope for the best! :)

another quickie baby

(no, not that sort...)

Surprise! I'm back in Singapore!! Yes I absolutely love teleporting around. Unfortunately I'm still jetlagging. I haven't slept more than 5 hours straight for the last.. 3 days and counting. First day in Singapore was the worst. I had a vomit spree but thank goodness it didn't stay for long (half a day)! I never really had jetlags until last year when I flew to London for the first day of uni (!!).

Thinking back: wow I was so excited for LSE. I wonder where all the enthusiasm has disappeared to... all I feel now is fear for my results.

I shall zoom away now before time eats me uppp

Oh my Lord, save me.

• just had French paper 6 hours ago. C'était très terrible.
• my head hurts.
• I have 2 days to cram 3 modules of accounting. Not funny.
• mega depressed + super unmotivated.
• my phone is lapsing again. URGH.
• there is not a single word I can use to describe how much I miss you.

:(

How can I possibly forget the degree of agony I have to go through during exam period? COME BACK TO EARTH! This is war.

meilleure vie?

Those are the flash-cards for the different presentations that I had prepared.

I. AM. DONE. WITH. MY. FRENCH. ORAL! Whohoooooooo~ It feels like the Eiffel Tower is off my back. Even though I made so many mistakes and there are a couple that are unbelievably embarrassing to mention, I am still pretty glad that the unanticipated French oral is over. It's just ridiculous to memorise 4 scripts of jargon plus to recite it on demand. It was a major headache. I mean literally too. Nonetheless, I did my best considering the self-inflicted time constraint. & as always, I feel like I could have done better. Perhaps, start earlier, not panic and uhh-ed for >10 seconds at a go(yes I did that), handle the questions properly, ensure that my grammar is perfect, be more alert, list goes on.. but it's all too late oh dear me. & I really shouldn't feel that way because for 1, time is like a one way train and 2, it's not an exclusive line i.e. anyone could have said it... I just made a fool out of myself didn't I? (cold joke)

Anyway, guess what. For the presentation, I actually picked (by chance) Great Leap Forward! The presentation itself went alright. I was nervous and stumbled on my words while presenting. The general questions weren't too bad, horrible grammar but I managed the first 2 questions. The good thing was that I kind of expected the questions and randomly thought about it while I was showering. The last question was the worst. That was when I thought (evolved to panic) for so long that one of the examiners offered a helping word. The thing is, it's not really a helping word because I have no idea what it meant/ was. What a total joke! Anyway today my French teacher told me that she likes the structure of my presentation. I really hope it's an important component of how we're graded hehe. :D

Other than the French oral exam, there's really nothing much to mention. So far, there is less than 2 weeks to the major exams, >2 whole modules to study for and ~2kgs lost so far (according to the weighing machine at the gym). I started going to the gym and cooking again yesterday wheee! Ok, should really be devoting as much time as possible into academics. University examinations are so scary... especially after years of spoon-feeding.

Wish me luck! :)

birthday week (real)

Mon anniversaire! :D

My first week being a 19 year-old was mellow and rather hectic. It started off calmly, gradually became unbearable and ended with a huge release of weight off my... well, mind. By now I'm done with French mock and Accounts first formative assignment of the term, both of which I did alright. I'll be relieved if I manage to scrape a pass. Haha, some aspects of me are just that stubborn! Overall, I had quite a pleasant week. I really enjoyed the shower of birthday wishes, care and love! & of course, being able to talk more to Shaun this week. I was all warm and fuzzy for 3 whole days. Thank you, all of you sweet people!! :) ♥♥♥

I made red eggs for myself on the night before my legal birthday. This year, apparently, my Chinese birthday was right before my English birthday. It could have been a really good reason for wild people to organise a 2 days long birtday bash, no? I think I would have done it if I were some spoilt, rich brat.

Le gâteau d'anniversaire! My sister decided to get me a cake, which was really really really nice of her! I picked the cake: Black Forest! :D

Posing with the cake! I'm cake-deprived T_T

Au Natural. (except the nails)

Cutting the cake!

Really cutting the cake.

The top bit made it quite difficult to cut.

Post-mortem. It consists of more cream than the forest. (hope you all get the joke)

Sis enjoying the cake she bought.

After the dinner (her treat) on the next day. As in on my legal birthday. This is confusing, huh?

A birthday present on the day after next!!! As in the day after my legal birthday. Hahaha, I did that on purpose to get you gears moving. Thanks Kodak and Karina! They wrote me a really sweet card too. It was really unexpected and made my day! Mila and Shaun made legal birthday via Mila's lj post (really touched!!!) and Shaun's call. Of course, my sister's dinner made my tummy very happy. :D

To tell you all the truth, I didn't expect much attention during my birthday. Well, namely because I've decided to celebrate when I'm in Singapore. The only activity I had in my agenda for my birthday was dinner with sister, which was a really filling and satisfying one! I'm glad to have done such a simple thing with my sister because I haven't been spending my birthday with any of my family members for the past few years. Distance is definitely the main culprit, with Time next in line. & next year, it'll be highly likely that I'm the only one in London. I know I've been having the mentality that it'll be totally cool and independent to be fully responsible of myself. Whether that's true or not, I still don't know. But one thing that I'm sure of is that I'll be craving for Singapore more often.

Like, I'm totally craving for satay, rojak, chicken rice, char kway teow, soya beancurd, wanton mee, fresh fish balls, my praaaaaawns, chilli, tako-pachi, popiah, bubble tea...... T_T Omg I'm like some hungry ghost roaming around in London! :(

Anyway, enough of home-sickness. Egawd, exams are cominggg!! I've got an ENORMOUS pile of readings to do (all thanks to self: PROCRASTINATION) and assignments due and blahblahblah.. those academics stuff. Same, old, same, old. Ho hum. The next 2 weeks will be pretty busy too due to assignments that have to be handed in on week 10. Le sigh.

Let's talk weather now. London's weather is currently undergoing some seriously erratic changes. This week I've experienced plenty of delightful Sun and it's predicted that next week will be quite miserably gloomy (and probably cold too) again. Last week was horrible because it rained for nearly everyday. It would have been bearable if not for the strong gusts! Of course I would have enjoyed the condition providing that I'm indoors, a cup of Earl Grey, some delicious tarts, a blanket and my dearest. The heater is obviously optional.

Oh yea, the dearest will be heading off to the jungle for training for 5 days and 4 nights. No communication is allowed. This is going to be quite an experience to remember.

I shall spice up my life with new dishes soon. As for now, BACK TO THE BOOKS!

this took me half an hour

It's 20 minutes to 11pm and I've decided to use this time to post a quick update. Shaun went in for his BMT training yesterday. For those who doesn't know what BMT is, it's a NS basic training thing (can't be bothered to know what the abbreviation stand for grr..). In short the boyfriend has to serve the nation for 2 whole years. The BMT is about 9 weeks or so and he gets to come home on the weekends after the confinement period (is it the right term?). That is if everything goes smoothly. I suppose it wouldn't make a difference if he gets to come out a day earlier once I get used to it. & of course, that is if I were to be overseas since I can't touch/smell/taste him via the webcam.

The one day went by pretty ordinarily. I missed the first 2 slots of my timetable due to body aches after 40 minutes of pilates yesterday. Yes, I've started working out once more!! *cries out to the world in glee* I finally joined the gym (Gymbox) on Monday. It was a pleasant surprise when I was told that I am able to get a cheaper rate (corporate) since I'm a student of LSE. I totally love surprise discounts! So obviously I signed up on the spot. Gymbox is the gym that I've been lusting for since A levels just because of their marketing strategy i.e. how they call their classes e.g. Commando Training, Pilates Bootcamp, Look Better Naked... let's hope it's not just marketing strategy, you know what I mean? I really hate getting my feelings cheated! No surprise discounts will ever make up for my bruised soul.

Anyway, headed down to Gucci to send my bag for repairing and check if my sister's bag is ready for collection (sent it in for dry cleaning). Oh yes, guess what happened? The handle of my bag came off! Yea, I have been really jinxed with my possessions nowadays. I got it like about 2 months ago and only used it like 3-5 times maximum. Just imagine the horror I have to suffer when I felt one of the handles coming lose, slipping off my shoulder and seeing the dislodged handle swaying from one direction to another. As I try to recall it, the moment seemed like as if it was in slow motion. Total O_O

The guy told me that the servicing fee will be waived but it'll take about 4-6 weeks for it to be fixed. To think that he told me I can only collect my sister's bag in another 4 weeks... seriously guys?! Is my sister's bag having that great a time at Florence that it's not willing to come back? It'll really suck if I can't get my bag before I head back to Singapore, which is in about 6 weeks. LE SIGH.

Academics is going downhill (work is piling up hence academics can only go down the hill ahahahahhahahhahaa get it?!!), energy level is plummeting to a very low level and my dark circles are definitely increasing in circumference. ARGH, I NEED SOME COMFORT.

I miss mon petit ami so much!!

LSE attempts some Biology

I'm being studious at the moment by watching recorded stats (optional) extra lecture. It's such a pity that I missed watching it real life! The lecturer likes cracking some minor humour to keep the bunch alive. For example:

The big circle depicts an "egg"(biology teachers would have killed me if I were to use that term) and next to it are the 4 sperms. Yea, he's doing probability on XY and XX. Reminds me of the good ol' science times! :D

& not to mention the other innuendo-s. Weirdly enough, the maths lecturers are always the ones who try to make jokes during lectures! Or maybe the friendly ones are the ones that I've got...

3 more days to the end of M term

2nd day into week 10; Week 10 = END OF MICHAELMAS TERM. I've been waiting for you. Egawd, 3 more days left! That's Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. 3 semi-full days. Will I survive through the period? One thing for sure, time will tell. That's nonsense. Egawd, what am I saying. SEE WHAT 10 WEEKS IN LSE HAS DONE TO ME? It's driving me to the edge. It's making me lose more of my sanity. It's giving me headaches. Literally. :(

At this point, quite a number of LSE freshers are feeling discouraged/ depressed about the workload and results, disappointed about how LSE is like. Of course I am one of those people. Truth be told (or pardon me if I've repetitively said this), LSE is not how I've anticipated it. I mentioned once that it's very much like a normal university, which is pretty much true. For the past 7-8 weeks, I've been coming to university with an obligation. I didn't enjoy the thought of "it's a new day to learn new things". I dreaded when my alarm rings in the morning. Just because LSE has not been treating me well, or rather, not how I've expected it to. That was what I have in my mind all along for the past 7-8 weeks and 2 days.

Today, Prof. Alwyn (Economics lecturer) gave us his 2 cents before ending our last lecture for the term. I suppose he noticed that many of us aren't very satisfied with what we've been experiencing since term started. He told us that LSE is a school where the bar is raised for those who want to succeed. Students here are pushed to their limits. Those who consistently learn from their mistakes and adapt to the surrounding are those who are prone to succeed. Some pick it up fast, some slower and some may not even pick it up at all. Year 1s are normally those who suffered the most, but by Year 3, many will find the course much easier and manageable despite the fact that the level of difficulty is at a greater elevation. It's not about working hard (only- imo), but finding the right tactic and adapting well. By the end of the course, the certificate will tell the employers that hey, I (let's all assume) AM CAPABLE OF GOING THROUGH ALL THAT!The LSE branding means something. That's costly to fake.

His advice sounds pretty cliché as I had summarised it. Familiar, simple and logical. But how many lecturers actually do that? It was inspiring to have him encourage us in the very last week, when we are all feeling defeated from 10 weeks of timetable, quizzes and assignments. It feels different coming out from a lecturer. Somehow, this reminds me of the relationship between the commando and his battle troop. Like how inspiring speeches raises the troops' morale. Strategic, don't you think?

Speaking of troops, I was not spared from some spine-chilling stories from the army. Army as in the one most Singaporean boys (or men- you be the judge) have to go through once they are 18. From rumours to food to sightings. Imagine being strangled to death by an invisible figure in the middle of the night due to ba-kwa (pork) hidden in the locker! 11 pairs of eyes witnessing it as it happened. How can it not be traumatising?! Being amused upon seeing red cars after numerous weeks of basic training confined in site. How can that be not be deprived?! Oh, oh. How about this: NOT BEING ALLOWED TO BRING HANDPHONE CHARGER INTO CAMP!? "Love" put on the hot seat.

9.58PM. I'm out.

P.S. as always, abrupt exit.
P.P.S lol no, I did not get mugged! Silly person. :D

everything starts with a small thing?

I just wrote two long paragraphs about how horrible human beings are for reaping satisfaction over someone's sorrow. But apparently, I've deleted them off since there's no need to emphasise how imperfect (in my opinion) this society is. It's only going to make me a sadder being.

The past week hasn't been the best set of days I have. Everything is going wrong! It's really annoying when you're thinking that it'll get better the next day when it actually got even worse. Everyday. Have you felt that way before? From getting your locker broken in, stuff ransacked, your trust about LSE and London destroyed, feeling like you're relatively slower among everyone because you're not keeping up with work, exlusive (negative),... my mind, body and soul are all so down right now. Le sigh. Can I really wait for the holidays? Will it be better? I know that I'll definitely be feeling even more empty then, since so many people are heading back this December! :(

I shall not brood over that. I am listening to Lily's album (It's Not You, It's Me) now and came across one of the songs, Chinese. I reckon it's regarding LDR. Good tune, it's very gentle, lullaby-y! It has pretty nice lyrics too. "I don't want anything more than to see your face when you open the door" -agreed. Let your ears hear the song! (below)


Yea, yea I'm really slow! I have this habit (sometimes) of getting albums and putting them aside for some time before listening to them. Grr, I just have no time to listen to all of them even though I would love to! :(

Anyway, I'm getting some more albums as I'm typing this. Lily Allen's album is really good. WHY DID I KEEP SET IT ASIDE!! Good thing Chanel's website reminded me of it! I was initially attracted by 22 which was on their website (Lily Allen represented for the launch of Chanel Coco Cocoon back in October).

Ohgawd, it's 12.01AM now. I'd better run.