closing to 4 weeks of exams

I am currently at a point of extreme saturation. To be preparing for a paper which you have to remember 180+ cases and numerous statutes is definitely a very, very torturous feat. I would love to have a happy ending and fly home with high-spirits knowing that I gave it my best for this exams. Please give me the memory to remember what I have read, give me the strength to keep going and give me the ability to make up for the mistakes done.

无花果

My day has been progressing quite badly due to the following events:

1. Woke up feeling groggy as of the previous few days. My mind is getting kind of sluggish for some reason. I really hope it gets better soon!

2. As I was trying to start reading, a very disturbing drilling noise came from the apartment 2 floors down. How am I supposed to concentrate? Thankfully it has stopped now. According to the person doing the drilling work (yes I went down to ask when the drilling will end), today is supposed to be the only drilling day. There will be no more loud construction on the subsequent days, which will be GREAT.

3. Kept making the same mistakes! I am going to practice one more question and move on to the next topic. Let's get this right Inggrid!! :)

I was eating some preserved fruits by the name of the above title. I thought it is quite apt for this post and kind of describes how unproductive my day is.

I was about to leave this out but I guess I shall type it out. Okay maybe it is kind of silly to be hoping for something to happen despite the slim chance of it happening. I guess it is my fault for letting myself have that bit of hope for Shaun enrolling this year. It is quite a selfish hope, I know. So anyway it seems like he is advised to defer his enrolment for another year. Of course I couldn't help myself and felt sad. It's a natural (selfish) first reaction right? But I guess there's really no point lingering on this issue until there is a final decision. If it is really meant to be, then things will work out. Be it LDR or finding a job here or some other route that is still not in sight... it really comes down to effort (and maybe fate?). All I need to work towards now are good grades and a good degree because everything else is beyond my control.

One step at a time :)

Sent from my iPhone

fear

The pressure is intense. Fear is creeping inside me, just like how it did last year. I was taken back by the reading list because most of them does not sound familiar. I took a peek at past year papers and honestly I could only do certain parts of the few questions that feels familiar. The good thing is I have about a little more than a week to do this. I have to face this. Because if I don't, at the end of the day, I will regret.

results are out!

Mobile blogging once more :) it's really addictive because I can just lie down in any style I like & blog using my phone. The fact that I can swing the device (phone) around easily means that I benefit from the extra flexibility. I'm definitely digging typing on this super compact mini QWERTY!! The bad side is I can't make a new paragraph (still unsure of how I should go about doing it) so it can be a bit of a pain reading this. Sorry ya'll! But let's face the facts. There aren't many lovely people (like you all) who reads what I write. Anyway, before this gets too long... A couple of short updates! 1) I went back to Indonesia for the past 6 days. 2) Shaun happened to get himself hospitalised on day I went back for the next 6 days as well. 3) My exam results are out!! I shan't elaborate much since it's 'short updates'. 1) is an old and boring topic that I shan't share more. 2) is too long so I'll cover that next time. 3). Omg! I passed every single paper! I'm ecstatic. Even though many look down on my grades, which I fully understand why they do that, some exceeded what I've been expecting. The disappointment is there, but not as bad considering the fact that I screwed it uppp urgh!! 1.5 mark away from a 2:1 omg! (Yea yea you can laugh/look down on my 2:2) Ahh well~ it's getting pretty exciting that I'll be entering a fresh new academic year and living with an... acquaintance. It's going to be a new experience once more! Not sure what to expect but let's just hope for the best! :)

plans for summer

One of the bad things with updating less is that sometimes you come back with so many things to talk about but none of which you can remember accurately. Or as excitingly. Another boohoo is I tend to lose the urge to blog. (Nooooo~) I shall prevent that from happening!

Tomorrow marks the 2nd week of being in Singapore. All I remember is being outdoors with either my mom, beloved or Rachel (since Mila was in Jakarta). Oh yea and bumping into a couple of people too! Since the GSS (Great Singapore Sale) is on, there's not much point staying home. Unless, of course, my parents decided to ground me once more. I've enjoyed the past 2 weeks! I've ate (inevitably gained weight as well), played and caught up with some people. Ahh good times.

Have I talked about what my summer will be like? I'll be spending time picking up some work experience for a huge part of this holiday. Yes! I managed to get an internship at a Corporate Finance firm with the help of an ageless mother (you can report this). It's a small firm where all the staff are seniors in terms of experience and it's quite intimidating if you think about it! My internship will be starting next week, which means I probably will not have as much chance to enjoy carefree times. On a brighter note, my CV will probably be more attractive and who knows who I'll meet in the 2 month period? :D

I was planning to learn Japanese during this break, which is not going to happen due to timetable issues. Brushing up on French (and English ahahaahhaha) during office hours doesn't seem too bad, since I was told that there will be times when there will be completely nothing for me to do. Omggg I can't believe I am going to be working in an office! I've never imagined myself joining the workforce, working on a typical schedule from 9am to 5pm, 5 days a week. Cross my fingers for the existence of office politics. It's a small firm anyway! Oh yes, I've been shopping for work clothes too. It's fun yet demoralising because the clothes are so matured and I feel so old. I still want to wear my tees and shorts! Le sob.

Anyhoo, something more academical: EXAMINATION RESULTS! The day falls on 14th July, about 3 weeks from now. I'm already feeling the butterflies in my stomach. How badly did I do? Omg!!! The jitters is killing me. Even though I initially thought that 40% being the passing rate will not be a problem, HEH, now I realise that I'm being a joke. A foolish, proud and totally idiotic teenager who thinks she can rule the world!* Seriously Inggrid, you think you can easily pass LSE papers? Did you see how crazy difficult the papers were?! Did you realise how retardedly careless you were for Maths and Stats?! Did you realise how bad your time management was for all the papers?!??!! AHHHHHHHHH this is driving me insane! It's super pressurising since LSE does not do resits. It's definitely one of the things that I'm not proud of being a (current) LSE student.

Other than those mentioned, I'll be extracting my wisdom teeth, hopefully sometime soon! I'll be taking summer one day at a time with my results being the next major thing. My beloved's heading to Taiwan in 2 months time for >= 20 days... and I've heard stories which are really unpleasant, but shutting it out! Out out out. Carpe Diem.

'Nuff said for now. A few pictures and then time for me to have some brown lovinggg ;)

I was at the airport a few hours early. 1.5 hours was spent shopping for perfumes, chocolates and random stuff. The other half an hour or so was spent sitting around, on the phone.

View from plane ♥ I always love how endless the sky looks. It's not cool when the sky scrapers are eating so much into panoramic views.

Limitations of a camera and a small aeroplane window. I had a rare window two seater all for myself! However, there were a lot of elderly couples and there was one who snored really loudly. I didn't manage to fall asleep, had a very bad jet lag and fell sick for half a day in Singapore. Lemon Chicken Rice was my choice of plane supper and it was the first time I felt that SIA food is bad.

Pitch dark by take off = gorgeous view of London.

Up, up and away!

SING-A-PORE! :D :D

Met up with Rachel a few days after I reached Singapore. Yong Tau Foo yumm the sauce yumm yumm yumm (hehe Mila)

Then we had tea at Cedele, chatted and read ViVi.

Rachel decided to walk me home because my stomach was feeling upset (AWW HOW SWEET RIGHT!). Then we saw this advertisement for men.

Enlarge to read. By the way, there's a couple more of them being hung up.

Oh yea this was the day when I gave Shaun a surprise. Teheheheheheehehe ♥ love you chubbs!

Ladylike, no?

SNOW CRAB RAMEN!!!

Rei had some ramen with butter, corn and shio pork. Looks really good too! :D

Gyoooooooozaaaaa!

Rei's treat at Coffeebean. Thanks lovelette!

Malibu (or something) was really good!! The cake was disgusting. Literal sponge cake (though it's supposed to be a tiramisu) with green tea powder.

Ended the day feeling super sleepy and the worst part of all: I LOST MY PHONE. Oh my God. I think I left it at the table and it got stolen. Sigh. It's such an old number and it's becoming a part of me. D: Anyway I've a new number now.

Dinner at Shangri-la Japanese restaurant with the Ngs invited by ageless mother.

Yummm $_$

Shaun's brother (what's with the pose), me and beloved.

Who is this skinny guy.

This was taken yesterday. Ageless mother was sending me home after which she went to a rock gig with her sons. Ageless isn't it!

Wow, that wasn't little! Toodlesss all, eat your poodles' noodles!

*I'm joking about the last part, just being dramatic.

P.S.: blogging on Chrome is officially a pain.

olleh

I can't remember the last time I had a cup of baileys (with milk of course) in front of me. Exams seems so stretched out, it sure does feel like as though it was going on forever.

More details tomorrow or so. Spent today window shopping! Craved for high street and high end brands for the longest time ever and I finally indulged in washing my eyesssss whooo! It suppresses my guilt about my performance at the very least. Yes, not a wise way to do it. Oh well. Anyway, saw the perfect wallet!! Crave. However, it comes with a price tag of £250 sob. It's so cute and functional. :(

Alright must go now. Head is throbbing like Blair's broken heart on Episode 22 of GG season 3. YES! Watched the last episode today. Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. Perfect wedding ring, perfect romance but the gravest mistake of the hour. I shall assume that it was a quick one.

night before maths exam

My head will be exploding at any minute. Maths exam tomorrow auuuuueeeioogrrhhh

Ready For the Floor - Lissie Trullie blasting on my earphones wahoooooooo. Indulging in all the boom boom boom translates to total love! do it do it do it do it do it do it do it now say it say it say it say it say it say it say it now ♫

Exams has officially driven me towards insanity. Either that or it's my intake. I suspect that Vitamin Water is making me have a high. Talking about 26% of daily intake for sugar.. oh dear Lord. Save me.

pump it

With respect to my beloved's suggestion, I'm back hitting the gym! Shame on me for giving excuses to him and myself such as, "Are you mad! I need to study..." WHICH I absolutely cannot believe that I said something like that. Sorry beloved, I'm just stressed with my recent performance for exams! I'm glad that I decided to add a last minute change to my plans. Thanks to you! :)

The work out today was really strenuous- I've lost the touch after about 2 months of inactivity. The (new) trainer was really energetic. She kept pushing us on and on and on. Mad exercise. Oh yea and she's so buffed! No trace of fats anywhere inappropriate, only veins and muscles... like female body-builders. Seriously. It was quite intimidating at one point...

As for exams (yes, I just have to include that again), it's depressing. Worse than depressing. I shan't dwell on that. Oh yes, now I remember something that I want to jot down. About 30 minutes into my Economics paper, we had a fire drill. How bizarre is that!? They had to evacuate everyone from the building (multi-storey FYI) to this gathering area a block away. It took about 30 minutes to settle us back to the building. The thing is my exam room was on the sixth floor and obviously we were not able to use lifts, so we had to climb our way up! Thank goodness they gave us an extra 10 minutes to compensate for the "distress caused".

Some Economics people have complained that it's unfair for the people who were taking the exam at different buildings. & now people who sat the exam at Clement House (where the fire drill happened) will be given special attention in marking- especially those who are borderline. Now that's unfair. Not all borderline people will resort to discussing about the questions openly while being evacuated! For example, myself (I hope I can even make the borderline mark -_-). Yes, I'm openly announcing that I'm borderline (Adverse Selection wts) but it's just unfair because there's no way to prove that I would go down to that level and get answer from the others! Talk can be cheap in this case (Costly to Fake omg). AHHHHH this is so frustrating! Of course, even though they didn't mention what sort of special attention they are giving to the borderline people, I'm just assuming that it's going to be more strict.

BAHHH. I shouldn't be thinking about this! The weather is lovely. :)

teeny

Just dropped by metoffice's website to find out what to expect for next week's weather. Cool-warm and sunny; I can't be any happier. Seriously, enough of the bone chilling wind already! I haven't got my trench coat yet so please hold the wind. (& yes I've succumbed to (much needed) investing in a trench coat, something that I thought I wouldn't need since it's only wearable during season transitions. But no, it's a wardrobe essential- LEARN!)

Neeways, weather aside. In the previous depressed post, something quite funny happened. Guess how I managed to save myself from having such poor state of mind? By studying accounting. How funny is that. Fine, not funny at all. But it's kind of amazing how some things that seem to be giving you problems turn out to be the solutions themselves. That is if you decided to be brave and face it. it. I'm still getting the jitters, yes, but I've calmed down for now. Panic tend to strike me bad before my papers. ... I'm such a nerd. 8D

Accounting, Economics, Maths and Statistics. Daunting. Daunting. Daunting. War it is.

Oh my Lord, save me.

• just had French paper 6 hours ago. C'était très terrible.
• my head hurts.
• I have 2 days to cram 3 modules of accounting. Not funny.
• mega depressed + super unmotivated.
• my phone is lapsing again. URGH.
• there is not a single word I can use to describe how much I miss you.

:(

How can I possibly forget the degree of agony I have to go through during exam period? COME BACK TO EARTH! This is war.

meilleure vie?

Those are the flash-cards for the different presentations that I had prepared.

I. AM. DONE. WITH. MY. FRENCH. ORAL! Whohoooooooo~ It feels like the Eiffel Tower is off my back. Even though I made so many mistakes and there are a couple that are unbelievably embarrassing to mention, I am still pretty glad that the unanticipated French oral is over. It's just ridiculous to memorise 4 scripts of jargon plus to recite it on demand. It was a major headache. I mean literally too. Nonetheless, I did my best considering the self-inflicted time constraint. & as always, I feel like I could have done better. Perhaps, start earlier, not panic and uhh-ed for >10 seconds at a go(yes I did that), handle the questions properly, ensure that my grammar is perfect, be more alert, list goes on.. but it's all too late oh dear me. & I really shouldn't feel that way because for 1, time is like a one way train and 2, it's not an exclusive line i.e. anyone could have said it... I just made a fool out of myself didn't I? (cold joke)

Anyway, guess what. For the presentation, I actually picked (by chance) Great Leap Forward! The presentation itself went alright. I was nervous and stumbled on my words while presenting. The general questions weren't too bad, horrible grammar but I managed the first 2 questions. The good thing was that I kind of expected the questions and randomly thought about it while I was showering. The last question was the worst. That was when I thought (evolved to panic) for so long that one of the examiners offered a helping word. The thing is, it's not really a helping word because I have no idea what it meant/ was. What a total joke! Anyway today my French teacher told me that she likes the structure of my presentation. I really hope it's an important component of how we're graded hehe. :D

Other than the French oral exam, there's really nothing much to mention. So far, there is less than 2 weeks to the major exams, >2 whole modules to study for and ~2kgs lost so far (according to the weighing machine at the gym). I started going to the gym and cooking again yesterday wheee! Ok, should really be devoting as much time as possible into academics. University examinations are so scary... especially after years of spoon-feeding.

Wish me luck! :)

this weird feeling

I can't believe I am down with only one paper for my A Levels. Half a paper actually. Nonetheless, oh my goodness. It's nearly over...

How I would describe the whole experience is that it came like a lightning, striked me like a major thunderstorm and cleared away soon after. Just like any other examinations. Even though my timetable was screwed up (some papers crashed with one another, some pretty spread out like this last half paper that I'll have to sit for this coming Wednesday) and I was complaining all the time about the timing of my papers, wow, it really went by like a blink of an eye.

On a sad note, truthfully speaking, the effort I put into this is a major disappointment. As mentioned on the previous post, it would be great if I didn't submit myself into another round of last minute revision. Then I wouldn't be here sitting and getting that remorse word hanging in my mind. Instead I would probably be purely satisfied that this whole A Level thing is over, I've done my very best and most importantly, there's nothing for me to regret. But then again there's no such thing as being purely satisfied, is there? It's so normative. I will wait for that day to come though. ;)

What I can do now is, I guess, to reward myself for at least trying to do something about it. I didn't give up while revising on the eleventh hour. I didn't pull myself out of the examination but I faced it. I picked up that pen and wrote what I've remembered. Even if I was unsure about the answer, I tried to make a logical guess. I've tried.

Wishing is really nothing if there's no effort in trying to grab hold of what you really want. I wonder when I will learn, when I will have nothing to regret for. Even so, each step I take is one step closer to achieve it. I will take this as reminder. I know that the outcome this time round will not be what others may have planned for me. I hope I will have the strength to face whatever that is coming!

I am craving for so many things now. I blame in on PMS.

quick one

Admittedly, I've lost the touch to update my blog. So much memories have been lost in this unfortunate time gap. I wish I have more time to blog, study and embrace everything that I've taken for granted. It's hard to remind oneself that wishing is nothing. The effort invested is what that matters.

My future is one of the issues that I have been pondering on. Do I really want LSE or do I want to head back to Singapore for university? Freedom or... (basically) uncertainty. That was said judging on the fact that I don't know what's going to happen to me when I head back to the sunny island (greeted with a weather that I dread). I have no offers, I must take a gap year before applying to university, the chance to go to university itself is a question, among other things... True enough, the more opinions I seek, the more confused I get. Henceforth, I've decided to leave it to my results to decide my (bleak, very) future. Should I stress that I am not too keen on that? Le sigh.

Before I proceed in doing some reading, one reminder to everyone: it's never too late to do anything. Better late than never people! Now...

GET YOUR ASSES BACK TO THE BOOK!

it was enough

DONE.

No more examinations untillll a few more months! This time was horrendous, caught unprepared for my last few papers which are the crucial ones. Sighhhhhh, undoubtedly the one that I just completed was poorly done. My right hand is on the verge to break down when the time was up. I was writing super quickly but not very efficiently because I kept on getting spelling mistakes and had to go back to cancel and rewrite it again, taking up even more time. I didn't complete the paper, as usual. But I guess what's done is done and I shall not dedicate too much of my time mourning over my performance.

The results will be released on the 5th of March. The day when butterflies will start to flutter around in my stomach, the day when I will experience another round of cold sweat, the day when I will blame myself for today, yesterday and the past.
fluffy cheeks then?
Welllll, today wasn't as bad as yesterday noon... there were some perks! Better than yesterday's I guess because I get to use my other 4 senses. Wheeeeee~ :D I went to the gym right after college ends (Biology was the last period, we did Statistics which was incredibly boring) with the lot and managed to get myself perspiring. I did like 15 minutes of cardio, an improvement from the mere 5 minutes last week! It's still quite a disappointment though because Shaun said I have to do at least 20 minutes. Hmm, it's achievable but I don't think I have the mentality to reach the goal. :(

Anyway right now I am back in the kitchen. I used to be working here all the time because I didn't have a table to work on and the apartment is really small. I used to complain a lot about it and one day my sister said she doesn't mind letting me have her table because the dining table is bigger than her work desk anyway... but I think she still prefers working on her own desk. & today, I decided that I should return it to her. It's sort of a self-punishment because... I think I have been really selfish for the past few weeks. Her huge examination is around the corner and I am still bugging her and all with my behaviour. I am not sure how long am I going to return it to her for though. I don't think I would mind working here because, yes, the table is indeed much bigger and I can web-cam here! (She has a problem with me using the webcam in her room- don't probe) We'll see, we'll see. :)

Now that the exam is over, for now, I think I might want to start reading. I have been trying to get started on reading the last volume of Harry Potter because it's really annoying when people start to talk about it and I will have to walk away because I don't want the story to be spoilt! Or maybe a cheesy novel or even mystery or or or..... TWILIGHT. Yes, maybe Twilight. I don't knowwwww really. Throw me a book and maybe I will read it. I need to inject more oomph in my writing style. I do notice that my grammar is really weak and I don't have a wide range of vocabulary. Boohoo.

Ahhh~ it feels nice to be blogging once more. It's like starting to work out and getting your heart pumping and muscles contracting after a long period of bumming around! :D

it's never nice to lose something

I. It's about that (above), right now.
Is it bad to be selfish?
So far, Biology and Accounts paper are completed. I am left with C4 of Maths and Unit 4 of Economics, which are challenging like I've never been challenged before. I am worried for the papers that I sat for. Both papers which I sat for on Friday weren't finished 100%. I did attempt all of the questions though, I think. Thinking back on how I did them makes me cringe, seriously. I am scared because I didn't prepare myself well before sitting for the papers, hence it's pretty screwed up. Time management and procrastination problems will always be a part of me, bugging me constantly. This is terrible.

under pressure, baby

I am tired from being lazy. (thinks)

Haha~ okay that did sound a teeny weeny bit wrong, but reflects my current feeling. That is brought about by realising how much I had procrastinated over the last i-don't-even-know-when-myself. It's terrrrrrible, knowing pretty damn well that I've a promise to keep and feeling sort of sure that I am going to break it, which will bring about undesired consequences (to some).

Oh, & I SORT OF MISS UPDATING MY BLOG. Oh my goodness. Virgin has been really horrid. Their broadband has been screwing up and hopefully it won't until I post this entry. I don't like the feeling of delaying something that I've been wanting to do for a long time. It's like, you want to defecate but you have to hold it in and when you actually have the time to do it, finally, your undigested matter decided that it should stay inside for a while more/ forever. It sucks, really. I am sure you all had those kind of experiences before! (please forgive me for the crude example- at least I did try to use more refined words!)

My absence wasn't quite a pleasant one. Things got a bit (or maybe more than just "a bit") to the negative side for me. Well, it IS the examination period after all. & as usual, haven't been preparing much and my Maths C3 is tomorrow followed by Economics Unit 2 + Accounting F004 the subsequent day. I am worried for the papers that I will be sitting for this coming Friday... amongt other things. I am jaded, sick and tired of the ridiculous politics. I need a getaway. Like, probably run away from home or something. (kidding) ...that place sounds good though. :)

Anyway, more to the cheerful side... did I mention about some of my awesome Christmas presents? :D *gets hyped up* I don't exactly celebrate Christmas and exchange gifts with people, but this year is different and I am elllllllllllllaaaaaaated! Well, Serene got me my beloved Shine On Jersey leggings!!!!! Which, I think I will only wear when it starts to get warmer. & cannabis (hemp) hand cream, which I find really thoughtful because my hands are always dry and cracking! &&& Shaun got me earphones which I have always been thinking to get since the good one spoilt! Too bad that I had to wait for Summer holidays before I can exchange gifts with Mila though. :(

Sigh. It's so nice to be happy. :)
sigh
Oh, and hello red blot! You arrived early.

Omygod! The Prelims! :O

It's scary, just by mentioning the number of days left to prepare. I am kind of disappointed by myself again, because I did not keep the promise I made in the mid-years, which is to prepare super early for any examinations that are coming.

Now, time is ahead of me and all I can do is just to make the best out of it.

Wish me luck!

(English 'O' Level's Oral Exam was hell screwed! Fuck)