vraiment? il a attendu pour moi?

Just a quick one before I start reading my stats... for real! (I never watch my stats lectures after I pronounce that I am going to do so)

1. Body aches from gymbox. Even though this week I only went for 3 classes. 49/month sigh...
2. SHOPPED YESTERDAY = got one cheap steal = satisfied!
3. Dress = expensive = broke.
4. Rachel and I are both looking for oxford boots/wedges. My interest in the latter has been peaking lately.
5. I want to try painting my nails red with gold tips... but CNY is over. Should I care?
6. The only thing I remember learning is during Wednesday's lecture. Err... wait I don't think I can remember what I learnt now. (right, it's absoption and marginal costing)
7. My memory is failing me really badly nowadays. To an extent that I forget to breathe sometimes. (wts?!!)
8. I'm scared.

:(

how many more bombs are coming my way?

Today's unfortunate event: correction fluid stain on my favourite jeans. Guess where? On the crotch. No joke. I am mega disappointed with my own carelessness and the loss of my favourite pair of jeans. It's like the perfect one for me! It hugs my thighs, legs and bum. It gives me the best support out of all the other jeans that I have. & I love its shade of denim. Omg. My heart is crumbling apart as I think about this. :(

Does anyone know how to remove correction fluid stain? It's like the worst stain you can get on denim! It's so persistent and it's white- against dark blue. I think I've scrubbed the area too hard that it becomes discoloured. Omg. I am in a mega despair. It's my favourite pair jeans!!! :'(

Le sigh.

everything starts with a small thing?

I just wrote two long paragraphs about how horrible human beings are for reaping satisfaction over someone's sorrow. But apparently, I've deleted them off since there's no need to emphasise how imperfect (in my opinion) this society is. It's only going to make me a sadder being.

The past week hasn't been the best set of days I have. Everything is going wrong! It's really annoying when you're thinking that it'll get better the next day when it actually got even worse. Everyday. Have you felt that way before? From getting your locker broken in, stuff ransacked, your trust about LSE and London destroyed, feeling like you're relatively slower among everyone because you're not keeping up with work, exlusive (negative),... my mind, body and soul are all so down right now. Le sigh. Can I really wait for the holidays? Will it be better? I know that I'll definitely be feeling even more empty then, since so many people are heading back this December! :(

I shall not brood over that. I am listening to Lily's album (It's Not You, It's Me) now and came across one of the songs, Chinese. I reckon it's regarding LDR. Good tune, it's very gentle, lullaby-y! It has pretty nice lyrics too. "I don't want anything more than to see your face when you open the door" -agreed. Let your ears hear the song! (below)


Yea, yea I'm really slow! I have this habit (sometimes) of getting albums and putting them aside for some time before listening to them. Grr, I just have no time to listen to all of them even though I would love to! :(

Anyway, I'm getting some more albums as I'm typing this. Lily Allen's album is really good. WHY DID I KEEP SET IT ASIDE!! Good thing Chanel's website reminded me of it! I was initially attracted by 22 which was on their website (Lily Allen represented for the launch of Chanel Coco Cocoon back in October).

Ohgawd, it's 12.01AM now. I'd better run.

One of the quotes

"There's always me"

:'(

under pressure, baby

I am tired from being lazy. (thinks)

Haha~ okay that did sound a teeny weeny bit wrong, but reflects my current feeling. That is brought about by realising how much I had procrastinated over the last i-don't-even-know-when-myself. It's terrrrrrible, knowing pretty damn well that I've a promise to keep and feeling sort of sure that I am going to break it, which will bring about undesired consequences (to some).

Oh, & I SORT OF MISS UPDATING MY BLOG. Oh my goodness. Virgin has been really horrid. Their broadband has been screwing up and hopefully it won't until I post this entry. I don't like the feeling of delaying something that I've been wanting to do for a long time. It's like, you want to defecate but you have to hold it in and when you actually have the time to do it, finally, your undigested matter decided that it should stay inside for a while more/ forever. It sucks, really. I am sure you all had those kind of experiences before! (please forgive me for the crude example- at least I did try to use more refined words!)

My absence wasn't quite a pleasant one. Things got a bit (or maybe more than just "a bit") to the negative side for me. Well, it IS the examination period after all. & as usual, haven't been preparing much and my Maths C3 is tomorrow followed by Economics Unit 2 + Accounting F004 the subsequent day. I am worried for the papers that I will be sitting for this coming Friday... amongt other things. I am jaded, sick and tired of the ridiculous politics. I need a getaway. Like, probably run away from home or something. (kidding) ...that place sounds good though. :)

Anyway, more to the cheerful side... did I mention about some of my awesome Christmas presents? :D *gets hyped up* I don't exactly celebrate Christmas and exchange gifts with people, but this year is different and I am elllllllllllllaaaaaaated! Well, Serene got me my beloved Shine On Jersey leggings!!!!! Which, I think I will only wear when it starts to get warmer. & cannabis (hemp) hand cream, which I find really thoughtful because my hands are always dry and cracking! &&& Shaun got me earphones which I have always been thinking to get since the good one spoilt! Too bad that I had to wait for Summer holidays before I can exchange gifts with Mila though. :(

Sigh. It's so nice to be happy. :)
sigh
Oh, and hello red blot! You arrived early.

Elephant juice?

I am a good girl today and didn't switch on my laptop/ go on MSN/ facebook. My sister is bathing and I am feeling lazy, so I decided to not waste electricity and use her laptop. It feels weird to be going on blogger and posting something here... Hmm, I wonder why.
dear nosy, I am doing this because of you. I hope you will not stop saying (true) sweet things to me :D
Today seemed very long yet short (someone's company made it so). It was okay-ish. There were 2 things that affected my mood negatively though. Sigh, I wonder when they are going to be settled (probably never). What should I dooooooo?

Someone said I've changed, for the good. Hmm... she and the others might think otherwise.

I am typing really short and nonsensically again. Oh well, I shall stop here and start doing my homework. I have like a gazillion due tomorrow. (That was a joke, I only have 2 due, haha! But it's still a lot and I need more sleep graaahhh!)

Kit Kat Chunky Peanut Butter is freeeeeeeeeeeaking sinful and addictive. Someone please stop me from buying it... I don't want to lose sight of my ribs! :(

I hate the kind of mental support my family is giving me

Hate is a strong word. I am not fond of using it often, but since the past few weeks it's been appearing in my mind and coming out of my mouth quite commonly. Today, the word is associated with my mom. I hate the fact that she's not like how most moms are- supportive, understanding and just like a best friend. A few years ago, I thought she has changed. I thought she was more approachable and that I could tell her anything and everything under the Sun. Thank goodness that I did not because today, she kind of removed a part of her mask (I hope you get what I am trying to say). I felt like as if I was backstabbed.

My parents was telling me about my university thing (again) and that if I can't get into LSE, I will have to go back Singapore and do A&F there which will be really horrid... I don't want to leave UK. I don't want to go back to Singapore because I will have to live with my mom and I don't like that. It really upsets me that they are not able to see that there are other good universities here in the UK. They kept on insisting in London which really doesn't have many good universities which offers A&F.

Sigh, life is unfair and we have no choice but to accept it. I hate this. I hate everything about myself. I wish I was a boy.

I really hate fake hopes

Those 2 were sufficient to keep me really happy today but when I came online and saw something, everything came crashing down again. Her fault, my fault, his fault? Most probably mine for thinking too much and being too sensitive and overly boring.

I freaking hate my week. Really, really.

Inggrid, you are so weird

My plan to study either one of my 4 subjects(Economics, Biology, Accounts and Maths; in order of which to study first) was a complete failure. De-credit to laptop and WLAN, not forgetting my super pathetic self-discipline. Oh well! But since Mila is online, at this very minute which is rather unearthly for her back in Singapore, I shall excuse myself. Heheh~ so much to catch up with each other but we have no idea where to start. Nevertheless, it's still good to be able to meet each other on MSN since I miss her like very ultra super much! :D

School wasn't much of a thrill lately, well it never really was anyway, but I am still hoping that that one day will come, when I will feel very excited to come to school and wake up voluntarily without the irritating disturbance of my handphone alarm. I doubt it's going to happen any time soon because of the crappy situation that I am in(IELTS screwed, xxxx and seeing yyyy with ???????). Boohoo, whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhymustitbeher.

Am I really that hopeless? D:

Eyecandies & crushes aside, school is still a... sad land. Like, today's Economics test was horrible. Last question was completely based on my non-existent luck. I didn't even read the choices(it was MCQ) and picked "B". After the test period, Serene told me that her answer is "E". Assuming her answer is the right one(most likely), there goes my 1 mark for wrong answer + 3 marks for absence of explanation + another 3 marks for screwed up explanation + 1 mark for wrong answer again + 1234567890 million billion zillion marks. Argh, I am frustrated with myself!

I want to be the subtle kind too!

Alright, I am going to retreat to the bathroom and get a nice warm shower as Mila have her MacDonald's pancakes. Yummmm, butter and maple syrup. Sounds very very very tempting indeed.

Am I expecting a lot?

Do I? Maybe, maybe not. I don't know.

I didn't have a nice day today. 2 reasons:
1) My IELTS writing test went badly.
2) I saw... with... ...

D:

If getting over love is this tough, I will never want to fall in love again.
-恋空

Ever.

It's going to rain again

Here(in the computer lab), once again. My Biology class is in 30 minutes time and I don't really like environment in the library. It's very packed! I find it rather awkward that most of the people prefers to go to the library to the computer lab. It used to be the other way round, you see. Hmm, maybe everyone shares the same thought as me: the freaking keyboard and mouse are so digustingly filthy.

Seriouly mannn, someone should really clean these keyboards. Or maybe I shall get anti-bacterial wipes. I shan't rely on the others that much, yes? :)

Speaking of relying of others, oh my goodness. The Southwark College dude completely forgot to tell the person in charge of IELTS that I requested a change in my Speaking test day! So it's still on Friday, means it's still going to clash with College Photo Day. My speaking test is scheduled at 11.20AM. So... I don't know... D:

Sigh.

& Dr Sherratt is not happy with me because my work is very very very super sloppy and my test period is very very very super lousy.

Double sigh.

I dread this. T_T

I can't bring myself to sleep

School is starting in ~12 hours and I am not ready. :'(

I really want at least another week of sleeping for at least 10 hours, watching tv all day long, surfing the net, ect. My homework isn't even 100% completed! I can't imagine what I am going to be facing in about half-a-day's time. :(

My fringe is very very dreadful and I AM DREADINGGG LATERRR!!!

I shall watch some 我爱黑涩会 as I wait for my walkman to finish charging.

What else can I look forward to?...