worst day ever

Today was such a horrible day. Primarily it's due to the fact that my bank application got postponed... again! Goodness, it has been months (and if you really want to talk about it in real terms, it's been years really) since I've been trying to open a bank account. Various reasons/ events will pop up before/ during my application and hence delaying the process. It's so mega difficult to open a bank account here if you are a first year, above 18, picky, doesn't have much knowledge about opening bank accounts and siblings who thinks that you're able to survive without a bank account. Ugrh, I really hate pushing blames to others but, really, I wish they were agreeable in doing me the favour of telling my parents that a bank account is necessary ever since A levels. It could have been super cheap and convenient if it were to be settled then. Oh God.

Someone please tell me: is it silly to get stressed over this issue? :(

Oh yea, adding on to my misfortune, I just ruined my 2nd piece of denim. Really, when will things be rocking my socks off again? (I take back that "again")

To think that I did a couple of small (good) deeds earlier on in the day.

everything starts with a small thing?

I just wrote two long paragraphs about how horrible human beings are for reaping satisfaction over someone's sorrow. But apparently, I've deleted them off since there's no need to emphasise how imperfect (in my opinion) this society is. It's only going to make me a sadder being.

The past week hasn't been the best set of days I have. Everything is going wrong! It's really annoying when you're thinking that it'll get better the next day when it actually got even worse. Everyday. Have you felt that way before? From getting your locker broken in, stuff ransacked, your trust about LSE and London destroyed, feeling like you're relatively slower among everyone because you're not keeping up with work, exlusive (negative),... my mind, body and soul are all so down right now. Le sigh. Can I really wait for the holidays? Will it be better? I know that I'll definitely be feeling even more empty then, since so many people are heading back this December! :(

I shall not brood over that. I am listening to Lily's album (It's Not You, It's Me) now and came across one of the songs, Chinese. I reckon it's regarding LDR. Good tune, it's very gentle, lullaby-y! It has pretty nice lyrics too. "I don't want anything more than to see your face when you open the door" -agreed. Let your ears hear the song! (below)


Yea, yea I'm really slow! I have this habit (sometimes) of getting albums and putting them aside for some time before listening to them. Grr, I just have no time to listen to all of them even though I would love to! :(

Anyway, I'm getting some more albums as I'm typing this. Lily Allen's album is really good. WHY DID I KEEP SET IT ASIDE!! Good thing Chanel's website reminded me of it! I was initially attracted by 22 which was on their website (Lily Allen represented for the launch of Chanel Coco Cocoon back in October).

Ohgawd, it's 12.01AM now. I'd better run.

make me a mirror which allows me to foresee the future

It's in the middle of the night and I don't feel the urgency to sleep. My body is probably trying to savour the remaining hours that I have left in the UK. Grahhh, I am not exactly looking forward for Singapore. I think I have repeated this line many times already.

I would have felt otherwise if I have more control of my life. A Levels, parents on accepting the relationship I have with Shaun, bought the right return ticket to and from Staines (where Thorpe Park is, terrible experience that I would rather not recall), ordered my Forever 21 items earlier/ authorised the credit card thing faster, saved more money, be a better person, blah blah blah. The complaining goes on and on. It's so me. I guess the uncertainty of what's going to happen puts me off from feeling excited and everything. Graah, how annoying.

I'd really like to see how everything turns out. If it's bad, then I can get ready for it. If it's good, then I will try to make it better.

Yea, IF it's only possible.

it was enough

DONE.

No more examinations untillll a few more months! This time was horrendous, caught unprepared for my last few papers which are the crucial ones. Sighhhhhh, undoubtedly the one that I just completed was poorly done. My right hand is on the verge to break down when the time was up. I was writing super quickly but not very efficiently because I kept on getting spelling mistakes and had to go back to cancel and rewrite it again, taking up even more time. I didn't complete the paper, as usual. But I guess what's done is done and I shall not dedicate too much of my time mourning over my performance.

The results will be released on the 5th of March. The day when butterflies will start to flutter around in my stomach, the day when I will experience another round of cold sweat, the day when I will blame myself for today, yesterday and the past.
fluffy cheeks then?
Welllll, today wasn't as bad as yesterday noon... there were some perks! Better than yesterday's I guess because I get to use my other 4 senses. Wheeeeee~ :D I went to the gym right after college ends (Biology was the last period, we did Statistics which was incredibly boring) with the lot and managed to get myself perspiring. I did like 15 minutes of cardio, an improvement from the mere 5 minutes last week! It's still quite a disappointment though because Shaun said I have to do at least 20 minutes. Hmm, it's achievable but I don't think I have the mentality to reach the goal. :(

Anyway right now I am back in the kitchen. I used to be working here all the time because I didn't have a table to work on and the apartment is really small. I used to complain a lot about it and one day my sister said she doesn't mind letting me have her table because the dining table is bigger than her work desk anyway... but I think she still prefers working on her own desk. & today, I decided that I should return it to her. It's sort of a self-punishment because... I think I have been really selfish for the past few weeks. Her huge examination is around the corner and I am still bugging her and all with my behaviour. I am not sure how long am I going to return it to her for though. I don't think I would mind working here because, yes, the table is indeed much bigger and I can web-cam here! (She has a problem with me using the webcam in her room- don't probe) We'll see, we'll see. :)

Now that the exam is over, for now, I think I might want to start reading. I have been trying to get started on reading the last volume of Harry Potter because it's really annoying when people start to talk about it and I will have to walk away because I don't want the story to be spoilt! Or maybe a cheesy novel or even mystery or or or..... TWILIGHT. Yes, maybe Twilight. I don't knowwwww really. Throw me a book and maybe I will read it. I need to inject more oomph in my writing style. I do notice that my grammar is really weak and I don't have a wide range of vocabulary. Boohoo.

Ahhh~ it feels nice to be blogging once more. It's like starting to work out and getting your heart pumping and muscles contracting after a long period of bumming around! :D

It's going to rain again

Here(in the computer lab), once again. My Biology class is in 30 minutes time and I don't really like environment in the library. It's very packed! I find it rather awkward that most of the people prefers to go to the library to the computer lab. It used to be the other way round, you see. Hmm, maybe everyone shares the same thought as me: the freaking keyboard and mouse are so digustingly filthy.

Seriouly mannn, someone should really clean these keyboards. Or maybe I shall get anti-bacterial wipes. I shan't rely on the others that much, yes? :)

Speaking of relying of others, oh my goodness. The Southwark College dude completely forgot to tell the person in charge of IELTS that I requested a change in my Speaking test day! So it's still on Friday, means it's still going to clash with College Photo Day. My speaking test is scheduled at 11.20AM. So... I don't know... D:

Sigh.

& Dr Sherratt is not happy with me because my work is very very very super sloppy and my test period is very very very super lousy.

Double sigh.

I dread this. T_T