beyond control

Tonight I felt heartbroken saying goodnight to you. Just 5 days left. The last five days of the 112 days I came back for Summer holiday. I've tried to not think about it but missing you makes me all weak and fragile. Ready to crack, go berserk and put down everything else that I have ahead of me just to have that warm snuggle and comforting hug. & never ever let myself go. Unforgivably silly, but you're that important to me. Even after our little tiffs or big arguments, I still really, really love you.

p.s. (mild humour) growing corn bits all over yet? ;)

p.p.s is it emotionally easier to send someone off or be the one departing?

it's the immigration headache again

I had an unbelievably lousy morning to start with. Completely spoilt the rest of my day. Firstly, having to wake up at 7AM is no longer an acceptable thing considering the amount of rest I had for the last couple of weeks. Secondly, being grumbled at is not appeasing at all. Thirdly, not controlling my anger makes everything worse. What happened to my ability of active listening? I reckon I've thrown it out of the window a month back. Recent development of spontaneously immense angst really sucks. For me, I get swallowed by an overwhelming sense of guilt after throwing a (stupid) tantrum at my poor victim. Right away. Irritated --> Anger --> Guilt. Sigh. Is this what I have to through during my teenage hood? Is this like to test whether I will turn out to be a refined, wise and cool-headed adult?

Managed to cool off some steam with my beloved, who chivalrously opened his doors to me. Though we marginally missed McDonald's breakfast (5 minutes), which I have been craving for since forever, quick brunch was pretty satisfying! Unfortunately I have to continue my rush that began since the morning...

As for now, I'm beat. I'm really super sleepy. & hungry. I won't be surprised to see my weight being pulled up by at least 5kg by the end of this Summer. Ahhh demoralising! I shall call Gymbox as my therapist from October onwards. :D

It's actually time to get off work but I'm actually staying on. This is amazing. Normally I'll be getting off asap but I'm actually staying on to try and finish a new task that is due tomorrow. & blogging. New love for the office perhaps?

Alright one more research and I'm out of this place! Sleepybug is pulling me home.

results are out!

Mobile blogging once more :) it's really addictive because I can just lie down in any style I like & blog using my phone. The fact that I can swing the device (phone) around easily means that I benefit from the extra flexibility. I'm definitely digging typing on this super compact mini QWERTY!! The bad side is I can't make a new paragraph (still unsure of how I should go about doing it) so it can be a bit of a pain reading this. Sorry ya'll! But let's face the facts. There aren't many lovely people (like you all) who reads what I write. Anyway, before this gets too long... A couple of short updates! 1) I went back to Indonesia for the past 6 days. 2) Shaun happened to get himself hospitalised on day I went back for the next 6 days as well. 3) My exam results are out!! I shan't elaborate much since it's 'short updates'. 1) is an old and boring topic that I shan't share more. 2) is too long so I'll cover that next time. 3). Omg! I passed every single paper! I'm ecstatic. Even though many look down on my grades, which I fully understand why they do that, some exceeded what I've been expecting. The disappointment is there, but not as bad considering the fact that I screwed it uppp urgh!! 1.5 mark away from a 2:1 omg! (Yea yea you can laugh/look down on my 2:2) Ahh well~ it's getting pretty exciting that I'll be entering a fresh new academic year and living with an... acquaintance. It's going to be a new experience once more! Not sure what to expect but let's just hope for the best! :)

I find it highly amusing...

Intended for Shaun to try imagine the whole act, accent and everything:

P said, "eh R ah! Your chocolate milk..."

Just in case I forgot. I really hope you get the humour!! It's so cute.

It makes me want to watch Despicable Me at this instant! The little girl is too adorable.

mobile blogging

Recently, or rather more precisely, yesterday, my mom bought me a new phone. Finally I made the decision: VIVAZ PRO. Mobile surfing is cool :D however it is quite inconvenient to blog with as, for some reason, I have to press a button continuously to get the lower case. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LET THE BUTTON GO. GOODNESS, IT'S QUITE A HASSLE :( ALSO, I CAN'T START ON A NEW PARAGRAPH I DON'T KNOW WHY! Oh well. So much for mobile blogging. Anyway, tomorrow will be my internship. I AM SO NERVOUSSS!! Alright, got it settled. No more pressing down of button to get the lower case! :D Anyhoo, as mentionned, tomorrow will be the start of my internship. First days are always horrible for me. But as beloved said it, be enthusiastic! & so I shall. I AM SO EXCITED!!

plans for summer

One of the bad things with updating less is that sometimes you come back with so many things to talk about but none of which you can remember accurately. Or as excitingly. Another boohoo is I tend to lose the urge to blog. (Nooooo~) I shall prevent that from happening!

Tomorrow marks the 2nd week of being in Singapore. All I remember is being outdoors with either my mom, beloved or Rachel (since Mila was in Jakarta). Oh yea and bumping into a couple of people too! Since the GSS (Great Singapore Sale) is on, there's not much point staying home. Unless, of course, my parents decided to ground me once more. I've enjoyed the past 2 weeks! I've ate (inevitably gained weight as well), played and caught up with some people. Ahh good times.

Have I talked about what my summer will be like? I'll be spending time picking up some work experience for a huge part of this holiday. Yes! I managed to get an internship at a Corporate Finance firm with the help of an ageless mother (you can report this). It's a small firm where all the staff are seniors in terms of experience and it's quite intimidating if you think about it! My internship will be starting next week, which means I probably will not have as much chance to enjoy carefree times. On a brighter note, my CV will probably be more attractive and who knows who I'll meet in the 2 month period? :D

I was planning to learn Japanese during this break, which is not going to happen due to timetable issues. Brushing up on French (and English ahahaahhaha) during office hours doesn't seem too bad, since I was told that there will be times when there will be completely nothing for me to do. Omggg I can't believe I am going to be working in an office! I've never imagined myself joining the workforce, working on a typical schedule from 9am to 5pm, 5 days a week. Cross my fingers for the existence of office politics. It's a small firm anyway! Oh yes, I've been shopping for work clothes too. It's fun yet demoralising because the clothes are so matured and I feel so old. I still want to wear my tees and shorts! Le sob.

Anyhoo, something more academical: EXAMINATION RESULTS! The day falls on 14th July, about 3 weeks from now. I'm already feeling the butterflies in my stomach. How badly did I do? Omg!!! The jitters is killing me. Even though I initially thought that 40% being the passing rate will not be a problem, HEH, now I realise that I'm being a joke. A foolish, proud and totally idiotic teenager who thinks she can rule the world!* Seriously Inggrid, you think you can easily pass LSE papers? Did you see how crazy difficult the papers were?! Did you realise how retardedly careless you were for Maths and Stats?! Did you realise how bad your time management was for all the papers?!??!! AHHHHHHHHH this is driving me insane! It's super pressurising since LSE does not do resits. It's definitely one of the things that I'm not proud of being a (current) LSE student.

Other than those mentioned, I'll be extracting my wisdom teeth, hopefully sometime soon! I'll be taking summer one day at a time with my results being the next major thing. My beloved's heading to Taiwan in 2 months time for >= 20 days... and I've heard stories which are really unpleasant, but shutting it out! Out out out. Carpe Diem.

'Nuff said for now. A few pictures and then time for me to have some brown lovinggg ;)

I was at the airport a few hours early. 1.5 hours was spent shopping for perfumes, chocolates and random stuff. The other half an hour or so was spent sitting around, on the phone.

View from plane ♥ I always love how endless the sky looks. It's not cool when the sky scrapers are eating so much into panoramic views.

Limitations of a camera and a small aeroplane window. I had a rare window two seater all for myself! However, there were a lot of elderly couples and there was one who snored really loudly. I didn't manage to fall asleep, had a very bad jet lag and fell sick for half a day in Singapore. Lemon Chicken Rice was my choice of plane supper and it was the first time I felt that SIA food is bad.

Pitch dark by take off = gorgeous view of London.

Up, up and away!

SING-A-PORE! :D :D

Met up with Rachel a few days after I reached Singapore. Yong Tau Foo yumm the sauce yumm yumm yumm (hehe Mila)

Then we had tea at Cedele, chatted and read ViVi.

Rachel decided to walk me home because my stomach was feeling upset (AWW HOW SWEET RIGHT!). Then we saw this advertisement for men.

Enlarge to read. By the way, there's a couple more of them being hung up.

Oh yea this was the day when I gave Shaun a surprise. Teheheheheheehehe ♥ love you chubbs!

Ladylike, no?

SNOW CRAB RAMEN!!!

Rei had some ramen with butter, corn and shio pork. Looks really good too! :D

Gyoooooooozaaaaa!

Rei's treat at Coffeebean. Thanks lovelette!

Malibu (or something) was really good!! The cake was disgusting. Literal sponge cake (though it's supposed to be a tiramisu) with green tea powder.

Ended the day feeling super sleepy and the worst part of all: I LOST MY PHONE. Oh my God. I think I left it at the table and it got stolen. Sigh. It's such an old number and it's becoming a part of me. D: Anyway I've a new number now.

Dinner at Shangri-la Japanese restaurant with the Ngs invited by ageless mother.

Yummm $_$

Shaun's brother (what's with the pose), me and beloved.

Who is this skinny guy.

This was taken yesterday. Ageless mother was sending me home after which she went to a rock gig with her sons. Ageless isn't it!

Wow, that wasn't little! Toodlesss all, eat your poodles' noodles!

*I'm joking about the last part, just being dramatic.

P.S.: blogging on Chrome is officially a pain.

pump it

With respect to my beloved's suggestion, I'm back hitting the gym! Shame on me for giving excuses to him and myself such as, "Are you mad! I need to study..." WHICH I absolutely cannot believe that I said something like that. Sorry beloved, I'm just stressed with my recent performance for exams! I'm glad that I decided to add a last minute change to my plans. Thanks to you! :)

The work out today was really strenuous- I've lost the touch after about 2 months of inactivity. The (new) trainer was really energetic. She kept pushing us on and on and on. Mad exercise. Oh yea and she's so buffed! No trace of fats anywhere inappropriate, only veins and muscles... like female body-builders. Seriously. It was quite intimidating at one point...

As for exams (yes, I just have to include that again), it's depressing. Worse than depressing. I shan't dwell on that. Oh yes, now I remember something that I want to jot down. About 30 minutes into my Economics paper, we had a fire drill. How bizarre is that!? They had to evacuate everyone from the building (multi-storey FYI) to this gathering area a block away. It took about 30 minutes to settle us back to the building. The thing is my exam room was on the sixth floor and obviously we were not able to use lifts, so we had to climb our way up! Thank goodness they gave us an extra 10 minutes to compensate for the "distress caused".

Some Economics people have complained that it's unfair for the people who were taking the exam at different buildings. & now people who sat the exam at Clement House (where the fire drill happened) will be given special attention in marking- especially those who are borderline. Now that's unfair. Not all borderline people will resort to discussing about the questions openly while being evacuated! For example, myself (I hope I can even make the borderline mark -_-). Yes, I'm openly announcing that I'm borderline (Adverse Selection wts) but it's just unfair because there's no way to prove that I would go down to that level and get answer from the others! Talk can be cheap in this case (Costly to Fake omg). AHHHHH this is so frustrating! Of course, even though they didn't mention what sort of special attention they are giving to the borderline people, I'm just assuming that it's going to be more strict.

BAHHH. I shouldn't be thinking about this! The weather is lovely. :)

My beloved and lovelettes, you're all dearly missed.

The nerdy me has decided that blogging shall be my choice of break from looking at exam related materials. I am quite amazed at my inefficiency. Can you believe that I spent 7 hours doing a 10 page presentation for my French oral? Of course, having said that, I can say that I've finished one of them (both power point and script) which leaves me 3 more exciting presentations to prepare for. Note: it is only for French oral examination.

The way the French oral exam will go about is pretty interesting. We were given 4 topics to prepare beforehand. On the day of the oral exam, we'll present one of the four topics we had prepared. The thing is, we sort of get to pick which topic to present- out of the hat style i.e. pick a random piece of paper and present the one that is written on it. It sounds exciting issn't it! :)

It has been 3 days since I reached London. My flight back got delayed by 5 hours, which perhaps a blessing in disguise of some sort. It gave me around 3 more hours of my beloved without parents' presence! I ended up reaching London at midnight though. My poor sister had sacrifice her sleep which makes me feel bad as I think about it. She had to wake up early on the following day for work.

Anyway, both the underground and Heathrow Express had ended their service by the time I got out. My sister was not willing to pay a hefty sum (£75 to be exact) for the cab back home. She so reluctant that she suggested to actually sleepover at the airport before Heathrow Express operates in the morning. My jaw literally dropped when I heard that. But of course, she was joking. We managed to hitch a ride back home though. Naw, now I'm just kidding. SIA provided a complimentary cab ride due to the delay. How nice of them! :D

Truthfully speaking, and perhaps scarily, it doesn't feel like as if I spent 4-5 months here after summer. The 5 weeks in Singapore was so normal and pleasant that I forgot all about London. I'm not even joking. I presume it's the LSE effect. My dread of coming back to London because of the exams has temporarily altered my memory of this city. It's such a shame considering how pleasurable the weather here is like... among other things. One thing that I'm really glad about being back in London is the current season, my favourite one too, SPRING! Gentle Sun, nice and cool weather, greeeeeen grass, flowers blooming, people enjoying the warmer weather.. sigh I can just go on and on talking about it. I'm in such a dilemma about my feelings towards London! Never ask me whether I love/dislike this place. I will never be able to produce a definite answer unless... the picture is complete. ;)

Alrighty, time to get back to work. I shall not get to bed before I finish a chapter (or maybe 2) of statistics + French homework. I CAN DO THIS! :D

Eyjafjallajokull

An update! This probably won't be too long as I have decided that I shall finish French politics (literally in French fyi) by tonight. After which I'll have 6 more topics before I can announce that I am done with reading the society part of my French module. I'm never good at absorbing facts, sadly. It takes me ages before I actually register them. What's even more unfortunate is that this disability of mine has been getting worse as I age. Urgh, it sure suck to be old.

As you all (probably) know, the volcano in Iceland (with a really long and gibberish name) that recently erupted has given a lot of problems to air travel. Flights to and from Europe was cancelled for nearly a week. Today is the day when aeroplanes are given the green light to start carrying stranded passengers across international borders. A few days ago I was worrying that my flight which is due this Sunday will get cancelled. It will be a quite a grave matter to me as I have a listening exam to sit for on Friday and I wouldn't want to land myself in the situation of rescheduling my flight and waiting for airspace to resume. In fact, I am still pretty worried that there might be hiccups with airspace. Afterall the volcano is still spouting ashes into the atmosphere. Mother Nature... please let me get to London safely before anything goes wrong!! (Mother Nature reading blogs... hmm)

My previous week was occupied with my beloved. Spending time together with him easily reminded me of how CTC days used to be, minus all the college people and the awesome weather. Of course it felt different too. Actually, no, scrape that. It feels more like summer. Yes, summer. CTC days remains a part of the lovely memory of us that I'll never forget. :)

As I was saying... his company is priceless. Even though we just wasted our time away doing ordinary things that other couples do everyday, it's enough for me. Maybe it's because of the 4 month long deprivation that anything goes for me. For now. Come to think of it, I never really asked him whether he's fine with the way we were utilizing our time together- he did mention going to some local attractions. Ho hum.

Now that he's back in, I forgot how it was like to not have him around. I forgot how to handle some things and lost a bit of control. Egawd this is so hard to explain. It's just... weird! It's like something obvious is missing. Ok I shan't go on and on about this. (GROW UP!!)

I'm meeting up with lovelettes tomorrow and will be having Korean!! It's a serious meet-up that shall be filled with nothing except eating and studying. Oh yes, studying. I shall head back to LA VIE POLITIQUE before I waste even more time! :)

I'm down with 4 chapters of Macroeconomics

Another day spent attempting to be studious. I'm proud to say that my productivity has gone up by a couple of notches in the company of my 2 lovelettes who gave me glares to stop me from being distracted with the random-est things e.g. my hair (bad hair day), this little girl who's studying (her spirit amazes me), the air... if you get what I mean. Ahh, reminds me of the good old times of working over the same assignment together in class/school/old haunts of ours. This is especially relevant to Mila because we've been irregularly close to one another and we both (along with Hosanna) used to have study outings which, at the end of the day, often lose its main purpose.

Oh oh, one delightful thing that happened today was that Mila surprised Rachel and me with home-made bentos! Japanese curry rice yum yum! I loved the curry :D & the rice tasted really nice too since it's Japanese rice and as you know, the texture is just different. It's like more succulent due to it's fat and round nature compared to the other types of rice. Even though Mila claimed that it came out too hard/ powdery, I felt all loved inside - even though I didn't finish the bento *hides face* BUT YOU TELL ME, HAVE YOUR FRIEND EVER MADE YOU A BENTO? HAVE YOU? HAVE YOU? My friend did and I am truly touched that she actually went through the trouble of making it early in the morning! :D :D

One interesting thing that happened today was that... Rachel spilt hot coffee over herself and she was still high on air ever though it was scalding hot. Imagine the horror. I would have screamed my head off, especially if I were to be wearing such a cute, pure white lace-trimmed camisole! Like, my jaw will completely drop as I stare at the aftermath of the accident with my eyes popping out of the sockets... okay enough drama. Anyway, she had to continue walking around with her funkily dyed garments, carrying a nice aroma of coffee along with her. The funny thing is that the coffee actually managed to dye half of the shorts darker brown (she wore a pair of light brown shorts) so it looked quite acceptable.

C'est formidable que j'ai une amie à longtemps! Il y a beaucoup des choses et mémoires que je peux rapporter de temps à autre. Bien sûr, le même chose s'appliquer aux gens à qui on m'assortit étroitement. Et, Madamme Tay, merci pour des croissants délicieuse! Je pense sincèrement que c'est une charmante gâterie pour le soir. :)

A lot of things happened last week. In chronological order, my first niece's arrival to the world, lunch @ TNH with my green gay #2 (Grace!!) and Teng, my expensive haircut which only shows a fringe change (very short and highly temperamental) (all these on Wednesday, 14th) and Shaun's long awaited POP! I witnessed the touching moment of his graduation (his mom nearly teared up while putting his cap on for him) at the cost of getting a horrible and uneven tan. On. My. Face. Nevertheless, it was worth it and I thoroughly enjoyed being in the company of his mom and his grandfather. He's such a cute gentleman! Hehe, what are the odds of seeing your boyfriend graduating from BMT? Each recruit is only allowed 2 guests. :D

If I'm not wrong, her name is Charis Nadia. Skinny baby, weighing at only 2.185kg!

After the haircut, we decided to walk from PS to City Hall because SMU is in between the 2 locations. We came across Ah Teng's Bakery which we all found pretty amusing. I wonder if she still pops this blog now and then. :)

Here's Shaun's granddaddy with his daughter (obviously Shaun's mom, just in case my attempt in being fanciful turns out to be an embarrassing failure)

HOW CUTE IS THIS PICTURE! :D

Just a picture to feed the curious cats out there. Anyway, over to my beloved, he lost too much weight in the span of 9 weeks!! D:

I suppose this picture won't hurt. :P

Ok hang on, one last revelation before I close. I'm starting to find Timbaland attractive... no no no don't get me wrong. Not in that sense. ;)

last minute change of plans :(

Lovelettes! :D

WHAT AM I DOING? Not studying = T_T!! I was supposed to continue reading Econs after dinner as I felt that I have contracted some inspiration from my beloved's cozy crib. Oh yes, I must and I shall. Quit the procrastination and start now. (Of course, right after blogging and a moment of MSN)

I PROMISE! & I shall succeed. :)

It's weird to be making a post. Especially within this couple of weeks that I've been here. I rarely have this writer's block kinda thing which prevents me from coming up with something to talk about. I've got a feeling that I'm starting to pressurize myself to come up with something captivating... or more specifically, something that makes it worth the time reading. Find that oomph. Add value. Inspiration. But, where and how?! Big question.

Anyway, that's for my own thoughts. Daily life. Wednesday outing with my lovelettes! Lunch at Food Republic, free movie (UP! Rachel cried watching the getting married scene while Mila was the toughest one out of us 3) at Sony Paragon and a whole lot of walking along Orchard Road. We ended up at Food Paradise which has a really nice type of green tea (comes in a pot- I like!!) and delightful pies! I think we ordered the mango and yoghurt cheese (I still think this is better than the former). Nonetheless, I like the pie base!! Yummo. :D

The two also accompanied this country bumpkin to check out the much raved F21 @ 313 Somerset. Upon knowing that it's 3-4 levels high, I thought it'd be a smashing cool shopping paradise. The exterior looks really attractive, good sign, I thought to myself as I hastened my steps towards the building. By the fifth step in, my excitement slowly evolved to disappointment. Perhaps it's the clash of my taste and the current stock. Or the temperature inside the shop. I'm not very sure what's the root of it but one thing I know for sure is that it doesn't thrill me as much as I thought it would! The range of stock was not as variant as one would have thought for such a grand store. Oh well. For the time being, F21 online still champs. (boo you international shipping fees and duration and payment inefficiency!)

Spent a majority of the weekend with beloved, as always. We met up with Calvin this time round. Pyinnie, if you're reading this, omg, Calvin really resembles Shinchan!! We had dimsum (yummo!) followed by L4D2, C.S. 1.6 (pathetic defeat) and Clash of the Titans, which, in my opinion, has a comical ending. I spent today (Sunday) lazing around like a hamster. A fat one at that. :)

Eh!? We all smile the same way! (showing only the upper teeth)

Young Rachel. Secret snap, don't tell her.

Oh yea!

...

SIGH. Goodbye my planned freedom! :(