I'm in for

"it's impossible for a man who goes with whores to be loyal."
-quoted from Calvin's blog who quoted from Diary of a Sex Addict.

I'm with that. Think about it.

bye.

P.S. don't even try to.

what's meant to be is meant to be

 A potato couch is in the living room, sitting on the sofa and speechless. Munching all the way from noon to dinner and probably later, checking her phone occasionally as she watches the shows airing on the rectangular box in font of her. The fat lazy creature is none other than myself. I am not able to think of a better way to spend my day other than relying heavily on the electronics. & thinking about some stuff as well. I didn't have a good night sleep and it has affected my thoughts of the day. Le sigh. D:

Growing Up part 3 episode ? (I caught the later half of the episode) taught me some lessons regarding lies. The narrator was ending the episode and said some sentences which I found very much logical. Some people tell lies to protect their loved ones. However, these lies will be recovered and known eventually. When it does, it will only push away the people you cared for the most. Regardless of whether it's told out of good will or to harm others, we all know it'll all reach the same outcome.

Personally, I've told lies thinking that the person whom I've lied to will not come to know the truth since I am the only secret keeper. Since it doesn't harm anyone and in fact will protect the person from being hurt, so why not just hide the truth? All these mind fooling of others ended up mind-f-ing myself. Many times it has got me insecure, harming the relationships I have/had. Creating an illusion to the people we love, making ourselves seem like the type whom our loved ones would desire, how long are we actually able to keep that image? Lies have to covered up with more lies, consequences will only build up as it happens. In the end, all we have is just superficial feelings that will break apart at the slightest touch of Truth. What's the point of going one big round and realise what we really have actually isn't ours to keep?

Recently someone told me that he asked himself this "why do I need you in my life?". It's an infectious question. Be truthful.

broke my record :(

:'(

So, so many unlucky things happened today. Booooo :( One of them includes getting myself a bloody wound on my right knee which hurts like @#%$ a while ago. Let me try and cover some of the things that happened: (trying to go in order, from morning onwards)

1. Woke up feeling a bit heaty, especially on the lips... it was expelling a lot of heat. I think I am falling sick :(
2. Nearly slipped while I was walking towards the Park Hill direction. Wore the wrong shoes?
   
3. Maths class was @#%-ing boring. I was desperately wanting to fall asleep but I knew I mustn't because... because I love maths! (y) No la, it's because obviously Mrs Eyers is going to be upset with me and I do not want that to happen since my mission in life is to make her happy! (she told us that in the first lesson) Anyway I tried really hard to keep myself awake by pinching my arm more than 5 times... ouch, shouldn't have done that.
4. After Maths I felt like a zombie. Dead tired. Hence, my Economics test period was screwed although it was an easy one.
5. Got even more zombie-fied.
6. I wanted to skip Biology class which is on the last 2 periods and it's supposed to end at 5PM. If I do that then I will be able to go home at 1PM. But I didn't.
7. So I went for Biology. I didn't absorb anything at all because I was a zombie and interacting with Naz on a piece of paper was more interesting than listening to Dr Sherratt, who was not in a good mood. No one likes it when she's in that state. We got held back by 10 minutes because we couldn't give her good responses during class.
8. Went home straight after school, and walked like a zombie. I decided to take a short cut since I was feeling lazy. I had to walk down quite a steep slope and it was covered with moss. Guess what? YES, I FELL DOWN. Or rather, slipped and knelt. Ouch, shouldn't have taken that route.
9. At the busstop, I decided to check on my knees by patting them and it felt wet. Guess what again? MY RIGHT KNEE WAS BLEEDING (it still is now). I couldn't see whether it was an open wound because I was wearing thick black stockings. :(
10. I felt miserable while walking (or rather, wobbling) home. :( :( :(

Terrible, terrible. I never fell down for really long and now, an ugly wound on my knee. I don't want a scar... it's really demoralising because my knee is unsightly and my birthday is coming (in less than a week's time- HINT HINT). & it's painful! I hate how the wound sizzles with pain after it gets into contact with water. Wts, this is mental torture.

But you know, since I am a Buddhist, I should start thinking of the yin and yang of the situation:

1. My lips looked red and sexy! :D
2. I didn't slip earlier on, and the shoes matches my outfit. I like the sound it makes as well. :)
   
3. When I am sleepy, I find that I am more responsive. Yea, I responded to most of Mrs Eyer's questions today wheeeeeee! :D
4. Mistakes made during the test period is better than making them on the real exam day.
5. I didn't make too much noise and was considerate for the people who were having classes.
6. I wasn't marked absent for Biology.
7. I cleared some of the doubts that I had since the previous lesson.
8. No one that I didn't want to see me falling was there. Imagine the embarrasment that I could have suffered! (Yes, Shaun thank goodness you didn't walk me to East Croydon station)
9. Thank goodness once more that I was wearing black stockings and it didn't tear or else it would have been so disgusting baring my bloody wound to the world.
10. MY SISTER COOKED FRIED RICE INDONESIAN STYLE WHOOHOOO! It's spicy. :D

Yea, that made me feel much better now. Oh, and I guess my wound also gave me the chance to finally use my Mr. Happy plasters!

Haha, okayyy maybe it's not that bloody afterall~

just this

Thought of the day: it's very important to tell the person what's wrong or he/she might never figure out what's wrong with you.

C for communication

Boo :(

I had a heavy dinner about 2 hours ago. It made me feel really heavy now... as in no digestion is taking place. My stomach feels rather uncomfortable at the moment. :(

Come to think of it, I haven't been JE-ing for a long time. Although I am still watching some doramas, most of them doesn't really have JE boys. 流星の絆 (Ryusei no Kizuna) is probably the only one qualified in my list because Nino and Ryo (of course) are in it. I am halfway though the dorama now, because the website which I usually download my weekly dose of japanese shows has stopped uploading its links. It's not THAT nice though... I think Innocent Love is better. The storyline and acting are somewhat more convincing. Not sure whether the link issue is temporary or not; I don't really like the idea of not finish watching a series unless it's ridiculously long e.g. 真情. Thousands of episode, wts?!

Ryo should star in more damn good doramas like 1 Litre of Tears and Last Friends, despite the fact that his role in the latter show doesn't make him very likable. Ahhh~~ I miss seeing Ryo with his old hairstyle (definitely not the boring/ weird one in Ryusei), doing his model like walk and grinning from ear to ear! ... I am starting to get the fangirl feeling again teehee. It's been a while. ;D

Anyway, today was a very cold day. I forgot to bring my scarf, which is really a very careless thing to do. My chest was freeeeeeeeeezing seriously. Thank goodness I remembered to wear the right shoes. I nearly slipped like for gazillion of times yesterday on my way to college as I wore boots with lousy grip. It took me like nearly 30 minutes to reach college, unlike the usual 10-15 minutes! Hopefully it's a blessing in disguise though i.e. burn more calories. That'll be a swellllll! :D

Thought of the day is that communication is very important to keep the connection alive. Hmm, I think I should do this segment regularly from now onwards!

Alrighttttt, time for me to hit the sack. ...I think my eyelids just went to bed before my brain did/