♥ radiohead ♥Phew! I feel so much better. It's quite a day issn't it. Never have I felt this way before. I feel like a fool now.
a fool who cries waaaaaay too much and easily haha
After lying in bed for more than half of my day, it hit me that I am perhaps taking things too seriously/ seeing things a bit too far/ expecting too much. It's easy to lose oneself in relationships, and I think I did. I don't blame anyone, neither you nor myself, for being so. It happens all the time and all we have to do is to just realise where we are standing, who we are and where we want to go. Carpe diem, I remember saying that. However, it wouldn't be seized if we don't make the best out of it.
I guess I've got the taste of what it's like being in LDR (the bad side of it) in these couple of days. There's not enough experience for me to make an overall conclusion. I am not even over with my current stage, really. But for now, I believe we need to have faith, trust (lots of it) and communication (!!!). Oh yea, honesty, patience and understanding too. They are all really important aspects to keep the attachment (I wanted to say "thing" but it's so general and meaningless) going. I let myself down today by allowing my own emotions/ selfish desires take over. I've got to learn how to share. (damn it)
There's one thing that has been bugging me for quite some time though. I wanted to discuss this with somebody but I haven't got the chance to. So, this is basically what I, personally, think. When we conciously did something to upset someone, are we actually in the position to remind the upset person that we (in defence) actually have the honesty to tell the truth? Can you imagine being so disappointed and dejected and the person suddenly asks for credit for the honesty to come forward. Of course, that came after apologizing. Immediately after apologizing. It makes the whole situation seem as though the person is almost assuming that being forgiven is a 100% thing. It just doesn't show how bad the person felt/ how remorseful the person is upon upsetting the other party. It has sort of an opposing effect to sincerity.
hahaha hence the "reluctance" baby ;)
For the time being, I believe in the old fashioned way of asking for forgiveness: we apologize and wait to be forgiven. Show remorse; the more the better. Inject all that sincerity into apologizing and make sure that it's genuine and not elaborated. Don't jump into defence, making it seem as if it's the other person's fault for being upset/ giving the person the chance to upset the other person. Note that I am not saying we should never justify ourselves. We should, at the right time and method.
Feel free to debate/ show me another vista!
With regards to the previous post... haha, I totally understand the situation. We are all imperfect beings aren't we? Got to forgive, baby.
both you and me
I shall finish my second half of 恋空 (koi-zora) even though it's going to make my eyes even more swollen that it already is. It makes me feel grateful yet envious (??!?!?!) about some stuff. Haha, that's quite an oximoron but you'll have to watch it and or you won't understand!
Hehe, Mila thanks for the infinite care. I hate the time difference too! I miss you so much. :')
