this weird feeling

I can't believe I am down with only one paper for my A Levels. Half a paper actually. Nonetheless, oh my goodness. It's nearly over...

How I would describe the whole experience is that it came like a lightning, striked me like a major thunderstorm and cleared away soon after. Just like any other examinations. Even though my timetable was screwed up (some papers crashed with one another, some pretty spread out like this last half paper that I'll have to sit for this coming Wednesday) and I was complaining all the time about the timing of my papers, wow, it really went by like a blink of an eye.

On a sad note, truthfully speaking, the effort I put into this is a major disappointment. As mentioned on the previous post, it would be great if I didn't submit myself into another round of last minute revision. Then I wouldn't be here sitting and getting that remorse word hanging in my mind. Instead I would probably be purely satisfied that this whole A Level thing is over, I've done my very best and most importantly, there's nothing for me to regret. But then again there's no such thing as being purely satisfied, is there? It's so normative. I will wait for that day to come though. ;)

What I can do now is, I guess, to reward myself for at least trying to do something about it. I didn't give up while revising on the eleventh hour. I didn't pull myself out of the examination but I faced it. I picked up that pen and wrote what I've remembered. Even if I was unsure about the answer, I tried to make a logical guess. I've tried.

Wishing is really nothing if there's no effort in trying to grab hold of what you really want. I wonder when I will learn, when I will have nothing to regret for. Even so, each step I take is one step closer to achieve it. I will take this as reminder. I know that the outcome this time round will not be what others may have planned for me. I hope I will have the strength to face whatever that is coming!

I am craving for so many things now. I blame in on PMS.